The Man Comes Around

Holy frick, tomorrow is New Year's eve. Do you suppose I can cram a whole year's worth of resolutions onto my to-do list and get them all done by tomorrow? Crap. It's not like I made these monumental resolutions or anything, like saving the beavers or teaching monkeys sign language. I know better than to promise myself to get things done in a year. Only thing I accomplished this year was wasting 365 consecutive days in a row to slacking, tomfoolery and indifferent bitching. Mission accomplished. Huzzah!

*Genuinely good and selfless deeds I have done in '08: That's hard to say. How can you measure a "good deed" and what exactly is the meaning of one anyway? Does not stabbing people count as a good deed? How about not running people over who are crossing at a stoplight? Do I get any karma points for that?

*Pounds I have lost in '08: That's hard to say. My scale is a pathological liar and you can't trust a word it says.

*People I have made a positive impact on in '08: Ahahahahaha, that's a good one. I'm sure I'm changing the world, what with my positive outlook on life and kind words. More like: "how many people have I pissed off, alienated and/or offended in '08".

This time of year is so depressing and annoying because people reflect on their life over the past year, feeling like a horse's ass because they didn't do enough, make enough money, yada yada yada. We'll never make enough money and we'll never be as complete and good and we think we should be, so why bother worrying about it now? Plus, people just suck and we never change, so quite yer bitching about it. Does anyone actually make resolutions and stick to them? Who has, like goals and stuff? Don't you think it's just good enough making it day to day, relatively sane, somewhat happy, basically healthy, knowing that someone loves you and maybe even with a buck or 2 in your pocket? I think that's all it takes to make me feel content. Then again, Ren and Stimpy makes me happy, so maybe I aim too low.