Holiday Road

Howdy, kids! I hope your holidays were freaking splendid and not too much on the dysfunctional side. I took a mini break from the blogging and the kvetching, not for a lack of interesting or hell, even boring things to say-(because I can bitch about anything when put on the spot. Test me. Give me any subject and I can find something that annoys me about it, or perhaps it'll be a subject I love greatly such as the bliss of Swedish Fish or Nad's hair-removal strips that look like flypaper, for when you can't get to the salon for a real eyebrow-waxing, and I'll talk about it at great lengths with no subject breaks and including many rambling thoughts in run-on sentence form)-but because I am rocking a cold that won't just break into a full-blown illness, but instead is dragging out in slow-motion and I feel quite like ass because of it and am, at all times, ready for a nap. And I am far too high-strung to nap, so you know this cold type thing is whooping my sorry ass. Did I have a point? I don't remember.

Here's a post Xmas wrap-up (mmm...chicken chipotle wrap from McDonald's...):

Presents did not suck this year. Major points to the ball and chain who remembered me saying a month ago that I wanted Lolita on dvd (and I of course mean Stanley Kubrick's 1962 version, not any of the skanky, whack-ass 90's versions, starring someone like Alyssa Milano or Drew Barrymore or Tori Spelling. And yes, I realise I'm putting Lolita in the same category as "the Joey Buttafuoco Story". For dramatic effect, when jazz hands can't be put to good use.) I've been almost unhealthily digging the Ventures lately, and I'm not sure why. In fact their Christmas album was/is my favorite this year. But I'm currently obsessed with their version of "Lolita Ya Ya", from the movie of course, but not Nelson Riddle's lame version. It's a sickness, really. I've been singing "ya ya, wah-o wah-o, ya ya" for weeks now. What is my problem?! You can see what I mean here:



Another present which did not suck were gift cards to my grocery store. 200 bucks! Sweet! I'd most likely be inclined to blow the whole thing (yep, I said "blow the whole thing" alright) on boxes-o-wine, but because Pennsylvania sucks it so hard, you can't buy it in grocery stores, just in liquor stores. Lame! 100 bucks can buy a mighty fine case or 2 of boxed wine. I'd stack them all on my front porch and hang those damn white icicle lights off of them, in a most excellent display of white trashery. So I guess I have to buy actual foodstuffs for my dang family, instead of cheap booze. Damn you, state of PA!

So other than that, it's been a pretty basic Xmas. How was everybody else's week? Were cops called? Was pepper spray involved? Did anyone have to cut a bitch? I need to know.