Way-Out Wednesday: The Kids Are Alright

You know, it's like I've been saying, there's nothing less inspirational than an inspirational saying. "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent". Oh, ok, really? That's brilliant. Stupid Eleanor Roosevelt. Who the balls do you think you are, shoving your positive outlook on life all up in my grill? I didn't give my consent for people to walk this Earth being stupid and annoying, but there they are, doing it anyway, even though I didn't give them a signed permission slip to do so. Jerks. And inspirational posters don't work either. Unless, of course, it's become a retro mockery of itself over time, such as the infamous kitteh falling out of a tree "Hang in there!" wonderfully craptastic kind.

Imagine the surprise! glee! wonder! of finding a whole collection of them from a seller on etsy. While they're "instructional" on teaching kids good manners and not so much inspirational, and while I "get" that these were probably hanging up in a kindergarten class once and that's all very fitting for the time and all, it doesn't change the fact that they're still odd and the kids are creepy little bastards. They're vintage 50's (actually, they're all dated 1957), and as we know, most children-themed things from the 50's generally are disturbing or strange to a degree, but you know, in the awesome way. (I wish these posters were movie poster size, because they'd make a ridonkulously wrong and great wall-o-art, plastering an entire wall in the house!)

(Since they're all being sold by one seller, I only made the very first picture below clickable over to the listing, should you feel the need to buy one or 6. I'm lazy. So sue me.)

And now, I present to you: the fuggingest, most fugtastically fugly little hellions.



Because if you don't knock, you'll force your mother into having a very awkward conversation with you about why the mailman is in your house and what exactly he was doing to her involving your Twister mat.



Apparently he's on the "Body by Carrot Top" exercise plan.



Little Jimmy's dad is so busy giving his mom the 3rd degree about why he saw Donald Duck crawling out of her bedroom window, that they didn't take notice to Little Jimmy bleeding profusely out of his jugular.



In a related topic, Children of the Corn do not approve when their parents pay more attention to the Arguing Ducks Show than to them and now they will have to pay, either with bleeding jugulars of their own or being sent "into the cornfield".



Give a sister a break. Maybe she hates him because he's wearing the gayest outfit ever. And anyway, cat appliques are so last year.



Yeah, that one-foot drop to the ground looks really dangerous. Also, why would an 8 year old try to impress a 2 year old anyway? You just know he's gonna grow up to be that 26 year old guy cruising past the high school in his 1975 Ford Econoline van trying to impress the girls with his nunchuck skills, shag carpeting and bottle of Mad Dog. (AKA: how Kim lost her virginity. Ha! Kidding. It was Boone's Farm.)



"The Kids are Alright" by the Who.