A Boy Named Sue

You know, I was all ready to write a Very Important and Meaningful Blog today, when I read the front page of MSN and news flash! The Ashlee Simpson/Pete Wentz combo of doom had their stupid baby. Big freaking whoop. I just sighed a little, knowing the world just got a little bit stupider, when I caught a glimpse of what they named him. BRONX MOWGLI. "Bronx" ss in, dirty stinking New York and "Mowgli" as in the soft shoe-ing Disney bear from the Jungle Book. WOW. Worst. Name. EVER. They said they weren't going to name it something stupid, for fear of having their rugrat's ass getting kicked on the playground. But the kid's name is not the reason why he'll get atomic wedgies for the rest of his life. It's because his parents are RETARDED. Maybe that's why they thought they were giving him a tough name. I can make up 407 tougher names off the top of my head than that. Baghdad "Mortar Attack" Simpson. Compton "Snoop Dogg" Wentz. See? It's not that hard. But you know what else? Big Gay Pete said no more eyeliner for him anymore, because he doesn't want to be known as "the guy who wears eyeliner". That's just swell. Too bad you can't get rid of "douchebag" with eye maker remover.

So congratulations...I guess...or whatever.