Way-Out Wednesday: Hands All Over.

Welcome to a better-late-than-never Way-Out Wednesday!




Some things I always love/admire/give shout-outs to (in no particular order):

* vintage
* kid leather (sorry my loves- but back off my jock, PETA)
* bedazzled crap
* crafty bitches
* crap with a vaguely Victorian/sorta steampunk/mostly "what-the-hell-would-you-call- this" vibe
* eccentricity
* crazy-ass costume & "statement" jewelry
* upcycling crap into other crap
* highly creative peeps
* homages to Janet Jackson's 1993 Rolling Stone cover


...yet even though today's pick has all of the above, I'm beginning to question where my list went wrong...




Why yes, that is an Eccentric Neck Adornment (the Etsy seller's title verbatim- and true on all counts), made from shrunken kid leather gloves and turned into a necklace that reminds me of a 15-year-old trying to cop a feel in the movie theater while trying to employ the cliche and zero-success-rated "pretend to yawn, stretch and put an arm around the shoulder of the chick sitting next to him while his hand dangles precariously within boob-reaching distance" move, thanks for asking. Then again, my mind takes up residence in the gutter quite often, so take it with a grain of salt.




(Huh. Woody Allen has "no apologies." Shocking. I bet he's used that movie theater trick on more than one 15 year old girl in his day. Hey-yo!)

Way-Out Wednesday: Children Of The Scorn.

Welcome to Way-Out Wednesday!




Bet you thought I forgot, didn't you?! Well, no. It's called being "fashionably late".... you know, if it was 1982, which is probably the last time anyone even called it that, like if I was going to a Bacardi-and-blow party of some high-strung, child-free bachelor stockbroker in Manhattan named "Chip" or "Brad" and I didn't show up until after midnight- you know, "fashionably late"- wearing a shoulder pad power suit, with a bottle of Valium in one hand and this new-fangled cassette tape of Hall and Oats, the scent of Charlie wafting in after me. You know, like that. These days it's called "holy crap I gotta write today's blog but ohmygod I just remembered there's still wet laundry in the washer from yesterday and I bet it smells like death by now and I'm gonna have to wash it all over again and oh man, what's today? is tonight garbage night?! I'll drag the cans out to the curb later, after I finish this Valium-tini and Danielle Steel novel but what time is it, is it really 6:00 already? I guess dinner will be a bowl of bran flakes and what, last night's brussels sprouts, and the fam will just have to like it, dammit." So there you have it. It all makes perfect sense now.

Speaking of those little crumb-snatchers (and considering it is Way-Out Wednesday after all), I present you with this Vintage Meanie Doll, currently available on Etsy from seller Pugpink:




This is why I don't like other people's kids.


Maybe those 1980's yuppies were onto something.

Way-Out Wednesday: All Killer, No Glitter!

Welcome to Way-Out Wednesday!




Because we're way nerdy up in this piece, I'm all for promoting reading when I can. A good murder mystery or crime novel (aka: "bad girls", "dope fiends", "jailbait" and other such delinquents of the 1950's) is always good. But really, vampires, werewolves and zombies make not only the best horror movies, but are classic good reads. Best of all, the cover art is phenomenal! "Phenomenal" as in: really, spectacularly cheesy in the best and most gloriously campy way. So I thought I'd get a little "Reading Is Fundamental" on your asses and show off a good read. Perhaps delve you into the swingin' world of 1960's vampires, when vampires were real and bad ass, before they cashed in on the scene and became vegans made out of glitter:




Hmm. It would seem Vlad waxed his chest for this special occasion. Apparently he wants to show you his West Side Vampires Represent neck tattoo. While I fully endorse the use of matching blue velvet cape sets, I'm a little confused. Where's the terror? Where's the blood and guts? Where's the sacrificial virgins?! And why is Kenny Rogers there in the background so angry?! Damn you, John Burke! Damn you straight to hell. Or to Forks, Washington.


Vintage 1967 Hammer Horror Paperback available on Etsy from seller Sophie Hardy's Vintage.

Back to the Grind!

I'm baaa-ack! Back from vacay, I am. (And talking like Yoda, apparently.) Sorry to cut and run- I had good intentions to write a "goodbye" post, but then I was all "meh", and you know what they say: "the road to hell is paved with good intentions" (or whatever), so there ya have it. (Apparently my over usage of quotation marks is back with great vengeance.) I'll be back posting our regular themes and random whatnot tomorrow. (Lucky you. *groan*)

Where did I go and what did I do on vacation? Well I can tell you what I didn't do, as chronicled by the following fanTAStic beach photos from 1951 (ish)...


I didn't...



...Wear a crazy hat...



...Or crazy-ass sunglasses (though why the hell didn't I?!)



I didn't...



...Get jiggy on the beach and break out into random dancing, singing songs about staying up past 10 and waxing my new surfboard, while a band full of crazy cats with names like "Scooter" and "the Geech" joins me on the beach... (Nor did I drop it like it's hot, for those of you who were wondering)...


I didn't...



...Hang out with any guys who wear sandals, under penalty of castration-by-spork (although donning the entire Brooks Brothers winter line on the beach is perfectly acceptable)...



I didn't...



...Wear a fur coat with a swimsuit on the beach, because that's just crazy. Everyone knows a mink stole is apropos. DUH.


And I didn't...



...Wear Hammer Pants....At least, not until cocktail hour.

Knit Wits, Part 11: Smarmy Dearest

Welcome to Knit Wits!






It's been a while since we delved into the bizarre world of vintage sweater booklets, so it's about damn time we do. Today's inspiration is a Vintage 60's Columbia Minerva His & Hers Sweater Booklet.






"I am so getting a piece tonight."
"Yeeeah, no, you're not."


Any time you see "his and hers" on a pattern you know something's gonna be awesomely cheesy. And wrong. With a delightful light & airy vibe of "religious cult". You know who should wear matching sweaters? No one, that's who. Sure as hell not grown men and women. But maybe twins. Or the entire cast of Full House. Other than that, it's a fashion hell no.

Except, of course, when it comes to the snarky and smug-ass men and women in sweater booklets of the 1960's. Then it's anybody's guess. Let's see a few more fine examples of knitting perfection from the same booklet...




"Whaddya think- I totally pull off "straight", right?... Right?!..."




"Well how about now?!




These are supposed to be "his and hers", right? Sooo....who's the "his" and who's the "hers" here?....

Bye Bye Birdie

I wasn't even going to post today, but thanks to my homeslice Club Vintage who found these (for sale on ebay, of all places), I figured it was a MUST to share these heels with you guys.

I think it's safe to say, these too can be filed under: Oh, SNAP.


And so, I give you ... the birdcage shoe:




I hate birds (seriously), but these are totally acceptable. Plus, they're studded! Peep toe! Ankle strap! Velvet! Can't...form...sentences...


These super rare Vintage La Rose Birdcage Heels are currently up for auction on ebay with 4 days to go, at a current price of $100 with the reserve not met. Oy. Let's torture ourselves more, shall we?




It's a bird! In a cage! For the heel! Naturally they're a wee vintage size 6.5, which means they probably fit like a modern size nuthin'. (Dammit!) But they sure are purdy to look at!

Prints Charming Sunday: One, Two, Three O'Clock, Four O'Clock Rock!

Welcome to Prints Charming Sunday!






Oh, SNAP. Lookie lookie at this vintage novelty print:





Utter coolness, amiright?! You know what wasn't utter coolness? Me, in high school. I wish my teen years were like the wacky kids on this skirt. Hell, I'd settle for a day. But it never was like a supercheese episode of Happy Days for most of us, was it? (Ooh! Like the "Fonz-jumps-a-shark" episode! That would be a kickass day to have.) Unfortunately my Cool Kid Status didn't kick in until my 20's. Or 30's. OK, never. So I was always nerdy, so sue me. High school and teenagehood was a huge slice-o'lame cake with a side of boredom frosting and geek sprinkles. (Side note: must scout out- and possible kill for- cake. Now. Right now.) But whatevs. There's nothing like a healthy dose of repressing your feelings (and probably Miller High Life) that cures what ails ya, amiright?!


This totally incred Vintage 50's Rock & Roll Dancin' Teens & Records Print Skirt, on Etsy from seller Wear It Again:




If you need me, I'll be moping in my room listening to Wham! records and hoarding the Hubba Bubba. Lip Smackers and puffy unicorn stickers may be involved, it's gonna be a long night.