Friday, May 23, 2008

Beyond The Sea

I'm not one to get sentimental...or even show any emotions for that matter (besides bitchy) because I am half robot and all, but at the risk of sounding like a stupid girl, this weekend marks a neat-o landmark in time for me. This Memorial Day weekend will have been exactly 10 years since The Ball and Chain proposed in a not-very-dramatic-or-romantic-or-even-clever way. Roses, candlelit dinner and horse-drawn carriage ride? Fools. I'm a lucky gal, I get proposed to all casual-like after playing pool. PLAYING POOL, which is far from what dreams are made of.

Our Big Moments In Life have luckily always been captured on film, such as the very first second we met a friend of ours happened to take a picture of us at that split second, and how many people can say they have a picture of the second they met their very own ball and chain? And this picture, taken a minute before he finished playing this game, after which he set the cue down and asked me to marry him.


The man redeemed himself by giving me the coolest vintage ring set I ever laid eyes on and that did in fact make me shed a tear or 2, which is odd because robots don't cry. It went exactly like this, said in a tone like he was asking me if I wanted the last Coke from the fridge:

Ball and Chain: "So whaddya think, wanna get married?"
Me: "Umm, OK."

Here's the serendipitous part. I love serendipity! I also love Serendipity starring John Cusack! Just this morning I was flipping through a bunch of old Better Homes and Gardens and Vogue magazines from the 40's and 50's learning how to build a better bomb shelter and 100 Ways to Use Spam. Reading old magazines is what I do quite a bit when the computer is having a seizure and not functioning and reading a real book is too much of a commitment.

Lo and behold, I found the 1947 ad in Time magazine for my wedding ring set. My rings are bit different than the 4 pictured, but mine are Keepsake, and don't be fooled by the rocks that I got, my diamonds are smaller, which of course figures because why would I ever in my lifetime get huge diamonds? But is that not an amazing amazement? Are you perplexed and mystified as well? And on the same weekend I get proposed to exactly 10 years ago?! Coincidence? Government plot? The world may never know.




Shazam! My glorious finger!


I love it when a plan comes together.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

We Are The Champions

LuLu's Vintage held a People's Choice Award for "Lulu's 2008 People's Choice for Best Vintage Websites"~ and Fast Eddie's Retro Rags was voted 9! I'm not last, get a load of THAT. Shocking but not surprising, because I do kinda rock your faces off, don't I? Seriously, what an HONOR to have peeps vote for me, I'm so grateful and thankful. Thanks for recognizing my awesome power of awesomeness.

It's also cool to see 2 of my close bitches on the list, too (Ang and Julie, I'm looking in your general direction)...

And the winners are...

Dorothea's Closet Vintage (I KNEW you'd be there, girl!)
Sweet Cherry Vintage
Dandelion Vintage
Daisy Fairbanks
Damn Good Vintage (Damn straight!)
Vintage Secret
Fast Eddie's Retro Rags (Awwwww,yeaaahh)
Sydneys Vintage Clothing

Next stop, world domination.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Who Do You Love?

A girl can only bitch about things for so long before she needs a break and also I'm afraid karma will send me an email that says "I'm gonna git you, sucka" and perhaps it's time to write about something that doesn't make me crabby and make a list of things I actually like. I'm only one person, people. But tomorrow I'll probably be back true to form complaining about kids these days and their crazy jazz records, so no worries.

So now, a quick list of useless and garbagey things I love that I wish I invented, had my flux capacitor not been stolen and the DeLorean not in the shop.

1.) The Ex Voodoo Knife Holder.

So I got lucky (I said "I got lucky") and missed out on a past full of psycho ex boyfriends that need a voodoo pox placed upon them- but- I do have a past full of random guys that wouldn't be too bad off if they were set on fire or maimed just a little.


2.) Big Mouth Billy Bass.

I wish I was more redneckier and hillbillier so that hanging this above my mantle would be apropos, but we can't all be born lucky.


3.) Beer Drinking Hat.

You'd think I'd have a little more class than to want to wear this to all the football games I never go to. But I don't.


4.) The Gem Sweater Schtick.

WHY didn't I think of this? This kind of white trashy goodness is wonderful. Leslie is a marketing genius, collecting the goodness of white trashy 80's gem sweaters and turning them into an empire, complete with a Gem Sweater Museum, website and music videos. And she wears gold spandex. GOLD. SPANDEX.


We may have been separated at birth.

Monday, May 19, 2008

The Politics Of Dancing

May I rant for a moment please? And by rant I mean bitch mercilessly? I kinda figured you wouldn't mind.

Girls can be so funny. And by funny I mean catty bitches. It's amusing in the vintage community the one-upmanship that happens when it comes to certain things, but in this case, the topic of Who Loves Novelty Prints The Best. Though I'm not speaking of any one person in particular but rather in general because generalizations are fun, I'm really quite over those kinds of people demanding we better recognise *they* love novelty prints the best, that *they* have loved them "x" amount of time more than the next guy, that *they* collect the most...yes, we recognise. And also, bo-ring. Remember, my Uber Cool Darlings, every 5 minutes there's someone else better looking, better dressed and all around better than you to take your place.

We get it already. You're a super awesome fantastic happy fun time vintage seller who's way cooler than everyone else and always was and always will be the end. Duly noted. Can't we all just like the same things and not have to worry about who's the winner of the Cool Game? It's safe to say if you sell vintage, you love wacky novelty prints just as much as everyone else. Dude, it's part of the JOB DESCRIPTION. Vintage= quirky, weird prints and you can't really be a hardcore vintage seller if you DON'T love them, therefore you're really no more special than anyone else, see? Now that we've got that cleared up, sucker punches all around! Yay!

Me? I could give a rat's ass how 50's your house is (not as much as mine), what you sell (the coolest vintage clothing anywhere), how cool you are (nowhere near the Coolness Level that I have achieved) or how vintage you dress (like, Every. Day. Duh.) Nah, I've found the best people to hang with are the ones who don't feel the need to remind you that they hung out with the Polecats in the 80's when rockabilly meant something and it's so commercial and played out now. (Which it IS, but that's neither here nor there nor relevant to my general bitching. Moving on.)

So I'm selling a great novelty print at the current moment, not because I'm cool but because the fabric is. It's a repro, but what a reasonable facsimile! 60's Dance Crazy bark cloth with swingin' chicks dancing the Twist and the Slop. (Which sounds disgusting and of course I'm dying to see what the Slop actually LOOKS like, I'm thinking slightly pornographic). And the band is called the Bristol Stompers! Which would make a great name for a psychobilly band from the UK. Maybe there already is one, thus proving how uncool I really am.

A pretty hard (I said pretty hard) to come by print these days, being out of production (or so I'm told). Available at auction NOW at Fast Eddie's Retro Rags.

Because we ALL love a good print, let's do some enjoying of the goings-on here, shall we my pets?: