Prints Charming Sunday: Mambo Italiano.

"A girl went back to Napoli
Because she missed the scenery..."


I don't know about you guys, but we here in the northeast are roasting our keisters off with unseasonably roasty weather. I assume Californians and the like are used to this, but 90 degree days when it's barely May is evil. So I'm thinking it's time to start investing in some more new (read: old) summer dresses to beat the heat. And margaritas. And frozen daiquiris. But for now a vintage dress with a kicky novelty print will have to do. Like this seriously cool Vintage 50's GONDOLA Novelty Print Dress, (on Etsy from seller Vintage Critter) in a perfect-fo'-summa, cool rayon:







See?! Gondolas! That pretty much rules.



And since we're in a festive mood and all, perhaps a little mood musci will cure what ails us:



I have no idea what this freaky-ass video is all about. I figured we all know the Rosemary Clooney & Dean Martin versions, so please enjoy this video of some French actor named Gérard Darmon doing his version of Mambo Italiano, for some godforsaken reason. Also, it looks like a generic version of Muppets and Tony Bennett. Creepy awesomeness.

Aqua Blue Heaven Friday: I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream For...

...(vintage) ice cream (maker)! Perfect for beating the heat that's a-brewin' is this too-cute Vintage 50's/60's Aqua Ice Cream Maker, currently available on Etsy from seller Blue Bonnet Fields:





There's really nothing better than homemade ice cream. If you've never made it yourself, I highly demand you do so immediately. You can buy fairly cheap ice cream makers at Target and Wal-Mart and the like- but vintage ice cream makers are so much cuter than modern ones. And everyone loves ice cream! Why, smartly-suited businessmen like ice cream...






...and last year's model of fembot likes ice cream...





...and to answer the age-old question: yes, models do indeed eat ice cream (when it's just for a photo shoot), as witnessed in this shot for 1957's "Bag Dress" by Givenchy...





...even our homies in Tel Aviv gots to have their ice cream!

Lucy In Disguise With Diamonds.

I bet you'll never guess who this is! If you guess it right away, then la-dee-freaking-da. But if you don't, don't feel bad. It took me a minute of staring at these pics before I had to accept the fact that it wasn't a drag queen.






It's Kathy Griffin! No, seriously, it's Kathy Griffin. Doing what every celebrity does at some point to either jump-start their sagging career or as a wacky act of doing something "unique"-the Bettie Page/pinup photo shoot. Photography done by Mike Ruiz, who is totally brill with a camera. I loove his work, it's very moody and sometimes dark and sometimes retro, but all done very well. You can check out his portfolio on his website Mike Ruiz Photography.

And I'm not hatin' on Kathy. I used to really like her back in the day when she was just a nerdy girl doing her nerdy thang, and didn't shove in your face how "D-list" she is, like she does know. We get it, Kathy, you're a slightly crappy actress and comedienne. You know how we know that? Because you tell us every chance you get how you're a slightly crappy actress and comedienne. (Though I'm slightly annoyed for having the exact same hair as me!) If she hasn't been airbrushed to death then her body rocks and the pics are pretty damn good! Still, at the end of the day, "Kathy Griffin" and "sexy, lingerie photo shoot" go together about as well as "scrape my eyes with a fork" and "lemon juice."

Way-Out Wednesday: Queen Cry Baby

Because I can't get enough of creepy, fugly or sad little neglected dolls, I submit for your approval on this Way-Out Wednesday this Vintage 70's Enesco Ceramic Figurine:






Good gawd y'all, I love crap like this. I've posted about similar sad, teardrop figurines before, but this one is probably my favorite so far. "YOU made me what I am today!" is pure genius. Please note the all-caps spelling of "you", so no one's mistaken that she's ain't blaming anyone else for her downward spiral into street urchin life except for you. Do you know what you made her into today? Because I don't. My guess is an underage child sweatshop laborer who moonlights as a cross-dressing Don King geisha girl. But there is one ray of hope for her. She has a real imitation pearl teardrop- not a drawing of one, like a half-assed prison tattoo done with a sharpened toothbrush, spit and boot dirt. This has class.

Atomic Tuesday: You Light Up My Life...And Creep Me Out A Little.

Welcome to Atomic Tuesday!




Today's vintage pick simultaneously makes me full of joy and irks the bejesus outta me. You'll see what I mean...






Bam! (Wow. How Emeril of me. Sorry about that.)

You know what I love about it? Orange, of course! Plus the classic, mid-century modern shape. And the cute, tripod legs (and don't think I can't bang out half a dozen filthy "tripod" jokes, because I totally can.) I've got a thing for vintage lamps like this Vintage 60's MCM Plastic Bubble Lamp so this feeds my obsession nicely. But then there's *something* about it that make me a little skeeved...




There it is. The rational side of me knows it's *supposed* to look like bubbles, but the wackjob side of me thinks the texture of the plastic looks like creepy fish skin. (Have I mentioned I'm terrified of fish? Seriously. Can't swim in water that has fish in it. And yes, I'm aware of my mental fuckuppery, thankyouverymuch.) But mostly it reminds me of Falkor, the Luckdragon- the somehow scaly-yet-furry talking flying dog thing. You know, from the 1984 movie-of-nerdy-kidtastic-awesomeness, The Neverending Story? (Yes, I'm still aware of my mental fuckuppery, thankyouverymuch.)

Prints Charming Sunday: Art Attack.

It's Prints Charming Sunday!



It's one of those "I could go from pleasant to bitch in 5 seconds for no rhyme or reason" kind of days. Partly because it's just how I roll. Also because it's cold and rainy and will stay this way for the next, I dunno, month or something. Ok, 3 days. Whatever. So I dramatize. But already this weather's put me in a funk, so I've been shopping my face off online for something to put me in a better mood. And since there's no one-stop shop for booze, Valium and a pool boy named Hans (Note to self: create a website for alcohol, meds and pool boys. Call it BoozeandBoys. com), the second best thing is a cute novelty print, right? Maybe more like a close third.

A sunny print will do the trick on a rainy day! How about this Vintage 80's Sunflowers Print Dress, available from seller Vintage in Bohemia on Etsy for a pretty fantastic $38:





Swell! The label even reads "Van Gogh Holland", so you know the print is not generic, but based directly on this small-time Dutch artist named Van Gogh (perhaps you've heard of him?) and his late-1880's series of paintings called, shock and surprise, Sunflowers (also known as "the poster every 19 year old sorority girl hangs in her dorm room")~

Aqua Blue Heaven Friday: Come On Darlene.

Welcome to another Aqua Blue Heaven Friday! (And yes, I totally intended for you to end up humming Come On Eileen by the end of today's post. That's my gift to you. You're welcome.)





Today's vintage aqua thing-o-awesomeness is this Vintage 50's Urn Novelty Print Angora Sweater, because I don't care that we're creeping up on summer (and I won't even care when it is summer), vintage cardigans always rule and fill me with...oh, what's that word that means the opposite of being pessimistic and grumpy?...Happiness! That's it! I'm filled with pure happiness for vintage sweaters. Today's joy-making cardy is brought to you by vintage seller Jumblelaya:







Urn, baby, urn! Urning down the house! Hunk hunka urnin' love!... Ok. That's enough of that.

The sweater doesn't have a label anymore, but it has all the markings of being a Darlene brand sweater. Once you learn to spot the tell-tale signs, Darlene sweaters become pretty easy to spot in a crowd. They almost always are made of an angora/wool fabric blend, have often-pastel screenprints of flowers and finally, have those classic, white plastic pearl buttons. There were copycat brands back in the day, though. Generic brands (ie: not a major label) would create similar-looking sweaters (and probably for cheaper than a Darlene) or you'd find a department store label in place of a maker's label (ie: a Bergdorf's label).


OK, you talked me into it. You twisted my arm. (You bullies.) For education's sake, here are a couple more Darlene sweaters, so's you can see what I mean about Darlenes having their own "style shtick":





1.) Vintage 60's Darlene Cardigan Sweater.





2.) Vintage 60's Darlene Cardigan Sweater.