Prints Charming Sunday: The Big Bamboo.

Welcome to Prints Charming Sunday!




Today's vintage novelty print is currently available on Etsy from seller Elsewhere Vintage- this glorious (glorious? yeah I'm a dork, but it is pretty damn glorious, so sue me) and wickedly fab Vintage 50's Bamboo Novelty Print Sarong Halter Dress:




Did you get that the first time? Bamboo! Sarong! Halter! (I can throw other words in there with emphasis and an exclamation point for dramatic effect, such as ShamWow! Now you try.)


The shades of green are among my top favorite to wear, because I think they're so flattering when you're a redhead with green eyes and are as pale as Wonder bread such as myself, but those hues look good on just about everyone! (Except, maybe, if you yourself are green. Then not so much.)

Atomic Tuesday: Frocks That Rock

It's Atomic Tuesday once again, kids! First, let me apologise for my absence and lack of posting over the past few days. My fabulous life of jet-setting to swanky Euro cities, lounging with the elite and living the lavish life of champagne and caviar has taken over lately. (Note: no actual jet-setting to Euro cities, lounging with the elite or lavish life-living actually took place.)

I'm just gonna jump right in, riding this cold medicine high for all it's worth and get right to today's theme of pretty covetable dresses! (Get it? They're pretty and covetable?! Yeah, whatever. I know. Lame pun.)




Vintage 50's Atomic Pleated Dress NOS from Metro Retro Vintage.





Vintage 50's Atomic Silk Dress from Past Perfect Vintage.





Vintage 50's Atomic Print Dress from Blue Velvet Vintage.





Vintage 50's Atomic Rhinestones Dress from Retro Glamour.





Vintage 50's Atomic Fishing Lures Dress from Hatfeathers Vintage.

My (Aqua) Blue Heaven Fridays!

Welcome to the second edition (installment? part? episode? what is it?! what do I call you, weekly feature?!) of aqua-hued vintage on Fridays! I'm calling it "My (Aqua) Blue Heaven". Clever, no? Yeah, I know it's not. It took me all of 3.5 minutes to think of it and you guys gotta admit, it's better than my suggestions from last week, so suck it up and love it. LOVE IT SO HARD. Or at least, agree it doesn't suck as much as it could. (That's what he said. Shut up, it is too still funny!)

So the weather has been cold and crappy and grey and rainy and all around unpleasant and not at all June-like all this week. So naturally a jerk-y ol' Scorpio like myself loves it. But get this: apparently most of the population of Earth actually enjoys the sun shining and beautiful days. I know. I couldn't believe it either. What is wrong with humans? Thank jebus I'm not one.

So for today's theme, here are some of my favorite vintage picks in shades of aqua, good for playing lawn darts...or cattle-branding...or assembling an entire village out of dried banana leaves and coconuts after your ship the Minnow crashes onto a tropical island, or whatever else it is that people do in the summer. Enjoy, heat-seeking, fireball-worshipping humanoids of Earth!



Hot damn, I'd stick my hand in a bag of razorblades and vinegar (what? I don't know either, just go with it) for this vintage 50's hot slice of lovin' (what?) from Dorothea's Closet Vintage.




Killer vintage 50's halter dress from Past Perfect Vintage. It's the quilted picker-upper.





Cutest stripey vintage 60's dress from Metro Retro Vintage.





Amazing vintage 50's spike-heeled stilettos~ look how great they go with the stripey dress above! It's like fate! Or kismet! Or coincidence! From Viva Vintage Clothing.





Super skinny, super cool vintage 50's/60's tie from Glad Rags & Curios.






Vintage 60's men's barkcloth cabana swim set- even Elvis himself would roll outta his grave for this set (or return to Earth from his alien abduction. Or make a rare appearance from his trailer court in Reno. Go with whichever one you believe.) From Living*Doll*Vintage.

eVintage Society's Blog Tag Wednesday

Its Blog Tag Wednesday at the eVintage Society! Its hot!! What better time of year to shimmer like the ice cubes in a vodka-lemonade? Refresh those who admire you with some summer sparkle! Let’s see what you’ve got!


1) Show us your favorite vintage sparkling stunner in your inventory! Rhinestones, sequins, beads…show us your shimmer!

This is perfect for summer shimmer. (Say summer shimmer 5 times fast!). This 50's swanky cocktail dress with GOLD PAINTED huge roses and GOLD GLITTER polka dots. If that ain't sparkle-rific, I don't know what is, foo'.





2) Rhinestones on daywear? Yes or no?
Hells belles YEAH! Why not?

3) Favorite beaded bag or jewelry in your inventory or personal collection?

This really freaking awesome vintage Sarah Cov bracelet! It's covered in colorful stones and confetti shapes. Very mid century modern and now I wish I was keeping it and not selling it!



4) Colored rhinestones or clear, which do you prefer?

I'm so white bread, I really like clear rhinestones!

5) Cubic zirconia, costume rhinestones or REAL diamonds? Be honest!! Which will you wear?

Costume rhinestones, hands down! I'm cheap. Oh yeah, I said I'm cheap.

Thanks for the tag Empress Jade Vintage! Until next Wednesday, back to you eVintage Society

Sweet Little Sixteen

Last night I *finally* got around to renting the newest Harry Potter movie, because I am fully aware of my nerdiness and will raise you one Lord of the Rings trilogy that I am watching on TNT right now even though I own the freaking boxed set, because that is HOW A NERD ROLLS and I am loyal to my geek-status movies. The thing I don't get is how these wizard kids and elves with magic never use their powers for personal gain. What's with the morals and the "do the right thing"-iness? Say WHA, now?! I'd be all OVER those powers. Sure I may save a kitten out of a tree and push a guy out of the way from a falling piano from the 6th floor, but damn you, child bearing hips, damn you straight to hell. Zap! Big hips gone. Electric bill or gas bill- which one to pay THIS month? Zap! Money, money, money, muuuh-naaay! I'd have the power to fly, to read thoughts, to be invisible, to be filthy stinking rich and occasionally use it to be good. But probably not that often.

I'd also use powers to have superawesome memory-- so's I don't have to rely on stinking myspace to tell me when my friends' birthdays are- JULIE AND JEN I'M TALKING TO YOU. So here's a blatant shout-out to my friends whose birthdays I missed because I'm apparently the worst friend ever and am too busy sewing my evil villain suit to remember things that don't include world domination.

You can snatch this vintage 30's coat from Julie at Damn Good Vintage a wicked awesome coat that has an old-timey villain feel to it, like the superbad librarian-in-disguise on old-timey England who will give you a firm scolding for talking too loud, meanwhile she's got a rubber catsuit on underneath for her other PT job as dominatrix. Or whatever.



And I'd also have powers to sew like a FIEND, because I would bang out (I said bang out) stupid awesome ensembles in minutes and never wear the same thing twice (damn you Paris Hilton), like the dress on this vintage 40's pattern from Jen at MomsPatterns. I'd ixnay the boob pockets, and make the hip pockets extra big. Where else will my flask and laser gun go?

Tears of a Clown

Is it just me (most likely), or is April Fool's Day the WORST HOLIDAY of all time? It even beats out Arbor Day and Earth Day- but any holiday that beats out a HIPPIE HOLIDAY is fine by me, because hippies don't get all crazy-like over holidays anyways, so they shouldn't be out all saving nature and rescuing endangered...I don't know, what ARE all the cool hippies rescuing these days? Because saving dolphins is SO 1990. And it's NOT FAIR that they have a day dedicated to their earth hugging patchouliness. What do you do for us the rest of the year, HIPPIES? Maybe I want a tree planted the day AFTER Arbor Day, well then what am I supposed to do? And where's MY day? Maybe I need a day dedicated to watching a Saved By the Bell marathon, drinking daiquiris and not getting out of my pajamas all day, because that will help EVERYONE out in the long run. TRUST. And is April Fool's Day even considered a holiday? An event? Or just a no-titled kind of day, just good to pull pranks and play tricksies? (...my preciousss...) What is it? WHAT IS IT?! If someone could tell me, I would appreciate it.

A million years ago (or maybe 13) in my first year of college I made the mistake of letting a couple of hippies that I worked with at the health food store talk me into the working at the renaissance faire. The the REN FAIRE, PEOPLE. And it was VOLUNTEER. Brutally long days in the dead of summer outside with no air conditioning, acting a damn clown for idiots from out of state who just paid too much for their Jumbo Turkey Legs, in the woods, with flying insect bug type things everywhere, walking, for free. Also known as the worst summer of my life so far or ever will be or ever was in any past life or ever will be in any reincarnated lives in the future. Looking back I must have been high (on life) to think this was cool...but I vaguely recall after many, MANY beers thinking that having "volunteer Ren Faire wench" on a resume would be a great idea. Like any prospective employer would read my resume and think, "She walked around all day working a fake British accent and quoting Shakespeare?! Surely you jest! Corner office!". The joke was on THEM though, because I came back the following October and volunteered for the Edgar Allen Poe Haunted Halloween Village, this time walking around rocking a fake British accent, quoting Poe and wearing ZOMBIE MAKEUP. I showed THEM alright. Hippies, you fooled me for the LAST TIME.

But don't you be a fool. You will love these crazy novelty prints and whimsical nonsenseries to celebrate the day of tomfoolery. Which I hate. The day, I mean. Not the stuff below, suckas.

This is so wonderfully bad and badly wonderful. It's aqua. In a diamond shape. And you hang it on the wall so everyone can marvel at it's kitschy wrongness that is so right. From Dandelion Girl



Keep your knight in shining armor close to your heart (aww shucks) with this cutie pie vintage blouse from Denisebrain. It'll be up for sale in a few days, hold your horses people.



Shields, axes, pointy stabby things? What more could a girl ask for? From my friend Jody at Couture Allure

Buona Sera

Funny thing about stereotypes. They're funny as hell, because they're generally true. Take my in-laws (Please! Thank-you-I'm-here-all-night-don't-forget-to-tip-your-waitress). They're Italian, which of course means they have plastic covering their couches and a Virgin Mary statue on their front lawn- which should by default also have a red, white and green painted fire hydrant at the curb. Nope. None of that stereotypical Italian (pronounced eye-talian) crap is around. BUT. They are transplants from Jersey by way of Staten Island by way of Brooklyn (naturally) with a crazy cool, long ass Italian last name. There are innumerable Tonys and Nicks and Eddies in the family, with the occasional Rocco thrown in, just for fun. Of COURSE there've always been stories of a Tony or 2 in the "slot machine business" which means they're not in the slot machine business at all. And in their favor, not once have they ever said "fugeddaboudit". But to really bring it home, they're Catholic AND had way too many kids for their own good- not *because* they're Catholic, but because they...well that's gross and now I'll have to drink bleach, just to wipe out the image.

Funny thing about maxi dresses. I generally hate them. On a gal that's already tall like me, wearing a maxi makes me look even taller and feel awkward and out of place and Attack of the 50 Foot Woman-y. Maxis remind me of bad (read: awesome) 70's lounge-y cocktail parties, complete with platforms and ludes. The crazy ass hostess, cigarette dangling out of mouth, spilling her Tom Collins down the front of her day glow brocade gown, mouth kissing "the help" and calling everyone sweety or Steve. Like a white trashier version of Auntie Mame or Mrs. Roper. Yet through my seething rage over 70's party gowns, *I* want to wear the ridiculous lurex and beaded gown, *I* want to drink too many Harvey Wallbangers and *I* want to get grabby with the help. I will never admit it but I secretly really want to be that crazy broad.



Pay no attention to Chrissy's camel toe, riding high onto dangerous ground, threatening to swallow her whole.

And I secretly want to wear this dress from beulahsvintage.

.

It's stereotypically everything I hate- post 50's fashion, long, orange and SO 60's it's painful. Yet it's somehow wonderful.

You tell anyone and you sleep with the fishes, capiche?

Hungry Like the Wolf

With Easter breathing down my neck, the idea of spending the day with family makes me slightly stabby. And by slightly I mean chock full of suppressed irritation and annoyance. Hard boiled eggs and the homemade horseradish my Dad seems to think is brilliant could drive me to tears. But it doesn't. It drives me to drink. Drink what you say? Champagne and strawberries, because I'm super fancy. Perhaps a side of lobster (rock. lob. STAH!) wouldn't suck. Too bad I have none of that. Dyeing all these damn eggs has made my will to live, let alone drive to the store, all but gone.

But hold your horses, grandma. What about all of this on a dress? Most excellent. Lemons? Ok! Watermelon? Of course! Salt and pepper shakers? Indifferent! Yet still cool! I'm pretty sure I found the perfect summer dress. I would even say it was ridonkulous how much I love this. But I wouldn't. I would say it was ridiculous how much I love it.

A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips. But a food-y novelty print is forever. Need it? Lust it? Kill for it? No probs, my friend Julie of Damn Good Vintage has it listed right now.