Atomic Tuesday: You Light Up My Life...And Creep Me Out A Little.

Welcome to Atomic Tuesday!




Today's vintage pick simultaneously makes me full of joy and irks the bejesus outta me. You'll see what I mean...






Bam! (Wow. How Emeril of me. Sorry about that.)

You know what I love about it? Orange, of course! Plus the classic, mid-century modern shape. And the cute, tripod legs (and don't think I can't bang out half a dozen filthy "tripod" jokes, because I totally can.) I've got a thing for vintage lamps like this Vintage 60's MCM Plastic Bubble Lamp so this feeds my obsession nicely. But then there's *something* about it that make me a little skeeved...




There it is. The rational side of me knows it's *supposed* to look like bubbles, but the wackjob side of me thinks the texture of the plastic looks like creepy fish skin. (Have I mentioned I'm terrified of fish? Seriously. Can't swim in water that has fish in it. And yes, I'm aware of my mental fuckuppery, thankyouverymuch.) But mostly it reminds me of Falkor, the Luckdragon- the somehow scaly-yet-furry talking flying dog thing. You know, from the 1984 movie-of-nerdy-kidtastic-awesomeness, The Neverending Story? (Yes, I'm still aware of my mental fuckuppery, thankyouverymuch.)

Prints Charming Sunday: Art Attack.

It's Prints Charming Sunday!



It's one of those "I could go from pleasant to bitch in 5 seconds for no rhyme or reason" kind of days. Partly because it's just how I roll. Also because it's cold and rainy and will stay this way for the next, I dunno, month or something. Ok, 3 days. Whatever. So I dramatize. But already this weather's put me in a funk, so I've been shopping my face off online for something to put me in a better mood. And since there's no one-stop shop for booze, Valium and a pool boy named Hans (Note to self: create a website for alcohol, meds and pool boys. Call it BoozeandBoys. com), the second best thing is a cute novelty print, right? Maybe more like a close third.

A sunny print will do the trick on a rainy day! How about this Vintage 80's Sunflowers Print Dress, available from seller Vintage in Bohemia on Etsy for a pretty fantastic $38:





Swell! The label even reads "Van Gogh Holland", so you know the print is not generic, but based directly on this small-time Dutch artist named Van Gogh (perhaps you've heard of him?) and his late-1880's series of paintings called, shock and surprise, Sunflowers (also known as "the poster every 19 year old sorority girl hangs in her dorm room")~

Aqua Blue Heaven Friday: Come On Darlene.

Welcome to another Aqua Blue Heaven Friday! (And yes, I totally intended for you to end up humming Come On Eileen by the end of today's post. That's my gift to you. You're welcome.)





Today's vintage aqua thing-o-awesomeness is this Vintage 50's Urn Novelty Print Angora Sweater, because I don't care that we're creeping up on summer (and I won't even care when it is summer), vintage cardigans always rule and fill me with...oh, what's that word that means the opposite of being pessimistic and grumpy?...Happiness! That's it! I'm filled with pure happiness for vintage sweaters. Today's joy-making cardy is brought to you by vintage seller Jumblelaya:







Urn, baby, urn! Urning down the house! Hunk hunka urnin' love!... Ok. That's enough of that.

The sweater doesn't have a label anymore, but it has all the markings of being a Darlene brand sweater. Once you learn to spot the tell-tale signs, Darlene sweaters become pretty easy to spot in a crowd. They almost always are made of an angora/wool fabric blend, have often-pastel screenprints of flowers and finally, have those classic, white plastic pearl buttons. There were copycat brands back in the day, though. Generic brands (ie: not a major label) would create similar-looking sweaters (and probably for cheaper than a Darlene) or you'd find a department store label in place of a maker's label (ie: a Bergdorf's label).


OK, you talked me into it. You twisted my arm. (You bullies.) For education's sake, here are a couple more Darlene sweaters, so's you can see what I mean about Darlenes having their own "style shtick":





1.) Vintage 60's Darlene Cardigan Sweater.





2.) Vintage 60's Darlene Cardigan Sweater.

Way-Out Wednesday: Mrs. Brown You've Got A Skanky Daughter.

Welcome to Way-Out Wednesday!




You know you had a fan-flipping-tastic night of partying your face off when you find a decapitated head, dubious stains and a dead hooker in your hot tub the next morning:



Maybe we're just seeing this Vintage 50's Naughty Ashtray at a weird angle. Maybe it's not as bad if we saw it from another angle...





Nope. Still a dead hooker.

Atomic Tuesday: Devil Without A Cause

Welcome to Atomic Tuesday, my little sweet peas!





Today's vintage pick isn't so much "atomic" as it usually is as it's "really, freakishly stinkin' awesome", so dig that.

Today's pick is vintage shoes. We haven't rocked the fancy footwear in a while, so it's high time we did. Not just any shoes, though. Glorious, freakishly stinkin' awesome shoes. And not heels! I know that's what you were probably expecting was heels, amIright or amIright? I thought so.



Behold the fabulosity called Vintage 50's Red Rockabilly Flats offered by Etsy seller Luxete:




Are they not the coolest?! Look at those flame-like, devil horns! Mwuahahahaha! Fear Satan's Slippers- if you dare!....mwuahahahaha...Yeah, OK, whatever. So they're not, like, evil or anything, but I do love their slightly wicked lines and de-lish red hue! (Also: they're a pretty sinister wee size 6.5. If you can fit into them, then you're more unholy than I figured you for. Well played, small-feeted ones, well played. I've got my eye on you.)


And you know what else kind of rules? The box. Because I'm a sucker for cute graphics and the box has some beotch doing the international sign for "shh". (Although it looks more like she's getting finger-poked in piehole than whispering.)But also because they're called "Whisper Steps", so I guess they're good for sneakin'. And when is that bad?

Happy Birthday, Jayne!

Today, April 19th, is Jayne Mansfield's birthday. The little filly would've been 77 years old today. 77! It's hard to imagine her old, much like trying to imagine Marilyn old. It's just impossible. Maybe that's why both beauties were fated to pass away at such young ages and much too soon, allowing us to always remember them as being eternally youthful and beautiful.



We all know Jayne was the "poor man's Marilyn", being less talented than her constant-comparison Marilyn, but more known to portray the "sexy blonde bimbo" role. The truth is, she was the exact opposite of her public image. She was actually quite brilliant, spoke numerous languages fluently and was a classically-trained pianist and violinist...



...Yet we're just so much more interested in those damn boobs, aren't we?




Of course, her most recognized claim to fame was her role in the 1956 rock & roll movie The Girl Can't Help It. You probably think that's the whole reason behind the name of this blog, right? Or maybe I'm just obsessed with a 2nd rate pinup? Not so much. I have a stronger connection to Jayne than just the name of a Little Richard song. I was born & raised in the wee town of Pen Argyl- the very town where Jayne is buried. Her parents and Aunt Helen were natives to Pen Argyl and she spent much time there visiting her aunt. (Aunt Helen died in 2005 in her 90's and is buried next to Jayne.) It's our town's claim to fame and I suppose, in a way, mine. I might not have that amazing of a connection to her as you had hoped. But when you grow up your whole life with someone larger-than-life like Jayne integrated into it, she feels more like family to me than a dead actress I never met. And to me, that's more amazing than anything.



So happy birthday, Jayne! Thank you for piquing my interest in old movies at a young age. Thank you for starting my love, appreciation, education and obsession for vintage fashion. Thank you for inspiring me in more ways than you know.

Prints Charming Sunday: Cluck You.

Welcome to Prints Charming Sunday!




This week's vintage novelty print is a little odd (well aren't they all, really? Isn't that the whole point of a novelty print, is to be a little wacky and not-sense-making? I'm telling myself to shut up already now.) I'm uber charmed by this week's pick. Maybe it's the pink/yellow color combo that's going on. Maybe it's because it's so delicate and girlie-looking. Maybe it's because it's got chickens with roses in their mouths. Yep. That's the reason.




So, OK, the roses aren't really in the chickens' mouths. But it sure would be a lot cooler if they were. (Tango chickens? Awesome.) Nonetheless, chickens and roses makes no sense and how could you not love that?!




This nonsensically awesome Vintage 60's Bird Print Blouse is currently available for a very sensical $28 from Etsy seller Silly Rabbit Vintage.