Aqua Blue Heaven Friday- Mama's Got A Brand New Bag

It's Aqua Blue Heaven Friday! Today's theme is the vintage needlepoint handbag. Also called a carpet bag. Sometimes called a tapestry bag. Many names, all the same dealio. I've come to find through talking to other vintage lovers that they either love 'em or haaaate 'em. I, for one, adore them! Yeah, they have a bad rep for being considered Grandma-y, but not all of them look like they're on their way to bingo at the fire hall.

Since it's friday, you know I found some to go with the day's theme- and I'll tell you ingrates what: it was not easy finding this style of vintage handbag in shades of aqua. I'm not sure why the color palette of choice with these tends to be on the earth tone side, deep maroons and such, so you'll take what I found and like 'em! Or don't, if you're in the group of "I hate 'em", in which I would say "Good day sir!" to you. To the rest of you who also like this sort of thing, I hope you enjoy!




Vintage 60's Mod Puzzle Pieces Handbag. I really dig the oversize O-rings on this sucka!





Vintage Velvet Tapestry Needlepoint Handbag. Velvet plus a big fat rose equals major win!





Vintage Calla Lillies Needlepoint Handbag. I associate the lillies and the black with having a creepy, funeral-y vibe, but you know, in a cool way. Like it would make some goth chick moderately happy. Am I insane for thinking that? Note: That was purely rhetorical and not meant to be answered. Wiseass.





Vintage 60's Aqua Tapestry Mini Suitcase. Ok, so yeah, it's technically a suitcase but look at those colors! Do love. I want a sofa with that same fabric. And no, I'm not kidding. It kinda rocks.





Vintage Under The Sea Theme Needlepoint Handbag. You know you love it. Also, take note of the bizarre love triangle going on with the goldfish, seahorse and random pink fish.





Vintage Raffia Needlepoint Handbag from Joules. This one's my favorite! It's been bedazzled, people. Bedazzled! It's like I always never say: what the world needs now is not love, sweet love, Burt Bacharach you idiot, what it needs is more fake plastic gems hot glued to crap.

Way-Out Wednesday: It Takes Two To Make A Thing Go...Wrong.

It's Way-Out Wednesday and I have a very special treat for you today! ...Come to think of it, I guess it's not so much a "treat", really, as it is more of a special kind of eye torture and mental fuckuppery that will stick with you...pretty much forever. What could possibly BE more fun, you ask? How about twice the terror? Sweet rapture! I'm doubling your pleasure and doubling your fun- not like that, perv. Oh, you'll see. You'll all see! Mwuahahahahaha.

So. You know how you're always asking me: "Kim, do tell: what would happen if a leprechaun, Ron Howard, anyone related to Ron Howard, Seth Green, a dozen hot wings from Hooters, a bachelor party blow-up doll, Prince Harry, the wardrobe department for the Little Rascals, Milton Berle, Cousin Oliver from the Brady Bunch, every 1940's cartoon cliche of a hillbilly, Drop Dead Fred, Malachai from Children of the Corn, Johnny Rotten, a pre-op sex change Lucille Ball impersonator, Axl Rose, and half a pound of baloney had twins?"

I can finally answer that. This:






Because your parents don't screw you up enough during childhood, why not go the extra distance and multiply every Poltergeist-esque night terror times two, permanently sealing the deal of a lifetime of emotional and mental scars that no amount of Valium, Jim Beam, and experimental shock treatment can cure. Thanks, Mom!

Atomic Tuesday: Java Jive

Welcome to this week's Atomic Tuesday!




I wonder if any of you guys have this same problem as I? Do you ever feel...not so fresh?... PSYCHE! That's just gross and inappropriate, 2 things I am not. Ok, I am, just not when it comes to rocking cliche feminine hygiene jokes from the 80's. The problem I have is with finding decent vintage coffee mugs. Dishes, glasses, barware, I've got a ton of it. All mis-matched, of course- well, except for the fancy stuff, which is all matched but never gets used, because, really, who do I think I am? The Queen of England who throws fancy-pants dinner parties? (Does she throw fancy-pants parties? I would assume so, she is the Queen after all. Also, "pants" means something entirely different in the UK, which makes this even funnier.)

You can generally find a buttload of vintage mugs in thrift stores any day of the week, but they're either those artsy fartsy, earth-toned, heavy pottery ones from the 70's that some hippie made with hemp and mud and crap OR factory-made ceramic ones with orange and yellow daisies all over them. I can appreciate both, and in fact, in the right vintage-themed kitchen the orange & yellow floral ones could be cool, but it's just not what I'm looking for right now. I'm always on the hunt for cool atomic mugs, any color or pattern works. I'm easy. (Hey-yoooo!) Sure, atomic-y mugs are out there. But most of the time you have to buy the entire matching set, including all the dishes. Or more commonly, they're always tea cups being called coffee mugs. There's a big difference! Tea cups are too small for a big-time coffee maniac such as myself. I mean, really, how hard is it to find actual coffee mugs in a cool pattern? Well, I've come to find it's pretty hard. (That's what she said. Zing!)

So for today's Atomic Tuesday, I've been stalking online for a while, trying to gather a decent enough collection of cool vintage 50's & 60's mugs to show you. I'm not gonna lie to you though, some of these are, in fact, tea cups, which makes me a little stab-a-rific and they're STILL not exactly what I had in mind, but hey, they're still rockin', so let's move on already. Enjoy!




Vintage Atomic Snowflake Mugs, Set of 4.





Vintage 60's Atomic "Cathay" Pattern Mugs, Set of 2.





Vintage 50's/60's Metlox Poppytrail Mugs, Set of 2.





Vintage 60's "Starlight" Pattern Starburst Teacups, Set of 3.





Vintage 60's Syralite "Captain's Table" Pattern Teacups, Set of 4. Captain Stubing sold separately.






Vintage 60's Homer Laughlin Footed Mugs, Set of 4. DO WANT THESE. These scream "Lewbowski", with all their bowl-a-rama kitschiness.







"Java Jive" by the Ink Spots.

Aww, Shucks~I Gots Me A Fancy Award!

Over the weekend I was given a major award! An award of awesomeness? An award of kickassery? No! Something way better. I was bestowed The Kreativ Blogger Award from gracious blogger extraordinaire & fellow Vintage Fashion Guild member, Fuzzylizzie, of The Vintage Traveler. I'm not only grateful, but stunned that someone as classy and dignified as Lizzie would even read my blog, which is...not so much classy. Or dignified. So thank you, Lizzie! I am flattered and amazed! (Also hungry and grumpy.)

So the deal is: I now pass the award onto 7 different people and then say 7 things I love. Those 7 peeps in turn give it to 7 other peeps and mention 7 things they love and so on. Piece-o-cake!

Blogs I'm awarding the hell out of:

1.) Bobbins and Bombshells

2.) The Vintage Librarian

3.) Vintage Goddess

4.) Real-Vintage

5.) Miss Matilda Dreams

6.) Tales of a Retro Modern Housewife

7.) Rosina Lee


Now 7 things I love:

1. I love to cook and bake. I hear it's a weird thing, imagining me to be all happy housewife-y & domestic goddess-y and all, but I do. I especially love baking in the winter.

2. I love health food stores as much as I love total garbage food. In fact, I've worked in 3 different health food stores in my retail days. Seriously. Despite my loathing of hippies and all things linked to them. I know. Full of wonderments and contradictions, I am.

3. I love when someone tells me that something I wrote here, some small little nonsensical line of gibberish, made them laugh and forget they were having the "worst day ever" for the moment. No confirmation on whether they went back to having the "worst day ever" after they left here. Probably.

4. I love the smell combo of rain on hot cement & freshly mowed grass. It's so summer.

5. I love not getting yelled at from someone who's selling something that I mocked here. So I guess that means I love when someone "gets it" and laughs along.

6. I love taking long, no-particular-place-to-go drives in the fall.

7. I love my own little family, who I think are about the coolest people I know. Also nerdiest, which translates to double love in my book.

My Best Friend's Girlfriend

Oh, sweet jumping jebus on a pogo stick, wouldya lookie here~ it's another Spinnerin! My most favorite, mock-tacular thing of all! Today's Vintage 1967 Spinnerin Book is curiously named "Gentleman Prefer" and ever more curiously dabbled with ménage à trois-y references throughout. Well this can't be good. Or attractive. Let's see just what exactly gentlemen prefer these days...



Gentleman Prefer...


*...their women to dress like 12 year old boys?

*...their women to be classy, yet have a subtle hairstyle that whispers "I live in a trailer park"?

*...to coordinate their outfits when they go out to look like they just had their yearbook photo taken?

*...to pretend to be Clark Kent?

*...to act like they're interested in what "Kiss My Grits" Flo has to say, while checking out the stacked blond behind her?

*...to take full advantage of props, such as this complimentary basket of fruit, sent up by hotel management when accidentally mistaking them for the Everly Borthers?

*...to use said prop in order to break out the old "is that a banana in your basket, or are you just happy to see me" joke?

*...to offer chicks a poison apple, so they'd just go away already?

*...to keep a close watch on their chick, waiting for the moment the roofies kick in?

* ...to grip something tightly, to keep from reaching over and bitchslapping Flo into next week, in order to get her to stop talking about the proper way to fry a corn dog?








"My Best Friend's Girlfriend" by the Cars.

My Aqua Blue Heaven Friday: Rockin' the Joint

Welcome to this week's Aqua Blue Heaven Friday!




Today I've decided to feature all items from my friend Fiona's website, who has a smashing, dahling website NOTORIOUS KITSCH. Which is fun to say and even funner to say "Notorious Bitch." Which *I* may be, but she most certainly is not, but rather, a charming gal with a rockin' website. If you've never checked out her site, do so immediately! Or you know, when you get a chance. It's chock full of cool, gift-y and home decor-y items, all with a tiki/50's housewife/retro spin. It's not necessarily gifts either. She has things to retro up your bathroom, bar, kitchen, you name it. (FYI: Notorious Kitsch is based in the UK, but ships worldwide! So everyone's ass is covered.)

So sticking with today's theme, I picked out a handful of kitschy fun aqua items she currently offers, so without further ado, here are my vintage-inspired picks from Notorious Kitsch:










Notepads with retro humor? Indeed.






Shower curtains? Check.





Tiki mugs? Why, yes, thank you for asking.





Barware and kitchen accessories, like atomic fish trays? Naturally.





Tote bags that don't suck? Yes, please. These are currently my favorite thing on the site! I can't stand those stupid hippie fugly ones from the supermarket~ these totes are just like those, except cool. And with fun statements! They're reusable and made with 20% recycled materials. (The one I'm considering buying is the one that says "You'll eat it... you'll eat it and like it." Ha! Damn ungrateful family.)







"Rockin' the Joint" by Esquerita.

Hamburger Hop

Welcome to another Way-Out Wednesday!



Today's vintage pick is like last week's, where it isn't exactly "way-out", wacky, yes, but not bizarre. But it did bring back awesome memories of being a kid, and it's something most of you remember all too well. In fact, you'll probably roll your eyes and sigh, maybe even get slightly stabby when I say...

"Where's the beef"?!

Yep, an annoying but clever slogan for Wendy's hamburgers in the 80's. If you're under the age of, say, 30, you probably assume I'm talking gibberish again, but I'm sure everyone else remembers the old, like really old ladies who starred in the commercial. Funny thing is, the commercial only ran for about a year, from 1984-85, and we still talk about it. Compared to most modern "sex sells" advertising, the Wendy's commercial is lame in contrast, putting 3 old bats who could double for the Crypt Keeper yelling about "big fluffy buns" and demanding to know where the beef is. It worked in the 80's, though, and you gotta give the ad execs props for coming up with a clever catch phrase that lasted a helluva lot longer than the commercial (or the old ladies) did.

There were quite a few different "where's the beef" commercials with the ancient broads, but here's the classic one:



Did you know there was actual "Where's the Beef?" merchandise to buy? I had *no* idea! Then again, I was only about 8 or 9 at the time, so what did I know? I can barely remember yesterday, let alone 25 years ago. So imagine my- and it happened in this order- shock! glee! disgust! (at the image of old bat) and more glee!- when I came across this little vintage treat of pop culture:



Why yes! It is a potholder and oven mitt set featuring the catch phrase and old lady who made it popular, thank you for asking. I'm both horrified and intrigued by this thing and I both want to buy it and run away from it at the same time. It's available from Nick and Nessie's on etsy for a mere 15 clams!


And for your added Way-Out Wednesday pleasure, here's a hot and sexy pic of the lady who made her fortune from shouting a line. And then died. True story, she passed away in 1987, 2 short years after she was rocketed to fame, fortune and oiled-up pool boys named Rico. So that's both sad and not at all surprising.







"Hamburger Hop" by Johnny Hicks.