Way-Out Wednesday: Beach Blanket Bing-Oh No

It's your lucky day, my friends! Not only have I got another creepy-ass doll to show off on this glorious Way-Out Wednesday, but I also answered the age-old question: "What would happen if Carol Channing's wig, a bag of Cheetos, Annette Funicello's entire wardrobe from 1961-1967, Lisa Rinna's lip reduction, Yoko Ono, the string cheese that rolled under the radiator 2 months ago, Snooki's Bumpit and the roast duck in the last scene of A Christmas Story mated?" Why, you'd get this!...




WHA?! What kind of diseased mind would create such a hideous and excellent craft from hell?! Because I'd like to shake their hand. Well played, satan's doll maker. Well played.

Vintage Handmade Surfer Girl Doll is currently available on Etsy from seller Death Machine, who gets a gold star not only for offering this craftacular sensation, but also for having the most excellent Etsy shop name of all time.

Aqua Blue Heaven Friday: Swiss Congeniality

Welcome to another Aqua Blue Heaven Friday!



I *love* when a vintage glassware pattern matches the dinnerware, I really do. And I *especially* love when you discover glassware that matches a line of dinnerware and never knew such a thing existed! Make sense? Yeah. I figured not.

Behold!




This is just one of a Set of 4 Vintage 50's Swiss Alpine Glasses. It's such a happy little pattern, isn't it? The aqua flowers! The wee trees! All the cute could kill me where I stand.

Swiss Alpine is one of my favorite non-pink/non-atomic patterns. The pattern was an American line available from the company Marcrest, and here's one more little useless factoid to drop on you~ the Swiss Alpine pattern was discontinued in 1960. So dig that. Alex Trebek, you best watch your back, because now we're ready to drop some serious knowledge on yo' ass. Seriously though, I'm way excited that there's a line of matching glassware, as I figured there was just the standard dinner plate/teacup/gravy boat option. Not that I need any more glasses (like I need a kick in the pants), but still, it's nice knowing they're available!

Set of glasses now available on Etsy from seller Vintageer.

Way-Out Wednesday: Snootie Little Cuties.

Welcome to Way-Out Wednesday!






Vintage dolls are a favorite topic to blog about around here. Now, there are vintage dolls. There are creepy-ass vintage dolls (our favoritest of all kind, of course!), and then there are these...







I know what you're thinking: "Have you lost it, woman? What's the dealio, these aren't weird, ya nutbag." Well my friends, they're not *just* vintage doll heads with unnaturally-hued, Tina Turner-coiffed hair, mind you. No, no. That's not overly weird at all, you know, if a seller on Etsy sold *just* vintage doll heads. Doll heads could, in fact, be used in literally a plethora of crafty-ass projects. A never-ending myriad of crafty-ass projects, even! So that's not the weird part. The weird part is this:





...they're doll heads that are tissue holders. Ya heard. Hollowed-out doll heads with a square box of tissues shoved up in there. Ingenious or morbidly tacky? And that's exactly why I love them. Plus, I'm not 100% sure that I don't want my home to look like it was decorated by a mass murderer, so there's that.



Awesomely wrong Set of 3 Vintage 60's Doll Head Tissue Box Covers are currently available for 35 bucks on Etsy from seller Orbiting Debris.

Prints Charming Sunday: Leave It To Barbara

Welcome to Prints Charming Sunday!





I thought today's post should be done in honor of Barbara Billingsley, who I'm sure you all remember for her role as repressed housewife June Cleaver on the 1950's-'60s tv show Leave it to Beaver. R.I.P, Miss B. We'll miss you!

Barbara's fashion style on Leave it to Beaver was upper middle class, but not flashy or too "money" (she was "just" a housewife and mom, after all). She rocked smart, matching shirtdress and cardigan sets and the ubiquitous (and now cliche) pearls like nobody's business!





It wasn't an easy feat to find a classic shirtdress with a novelty print that wasn't *too* nutty or over the top for today's post, as her character never would've worn anything too bold, but I think I found just the thing (and how much it resembles her dress in the pic above is kinda cool), this Vintage 50's Butterfly and Pocket Watch Novelty Print Dress, available on Etsy from seller Our Tea Party, for a mere 40 bucks!:




I admit I never knew too much about Miss B and her acting career outside of Leave it to Beaver, though I recall her small but WAY sassy bit part on an episode of the tv show Roseanne in the '90s. But my favorite is, of course, her *ingenious* role as the jive talkin' old white broad on Airplane! ("Stewardess, I speak jive."). She was ahead of her time in those unexpected comedic roles, long before Betty White became, well, Betty White. And so I leave you with these final thoughts, immortalised by Miss Jive Talker herself: "Chump don' wan' no help, chump don' GET da help!"

Aqua Blue Heaven Friday: Gliding Light

Welcome to Aqua Blue Heaven Friday!




I've been burned-out on our aqua theme for the past "x" amount of months, in a creative funk you'd say, but I feel like my "aqua mojo is back with burnin' fury! (Or whatever.) To my luscious new followers (yes, you are indeed luscious and don't you forget it), Aqua Blue Heaven Friday is a day (friday, duh) I showcase a supercool/wicked/fantastic/ridonkulous/enter any fitting descriptive word here/ vintage item that is, shock and surprise, aqua. Now lets ride, mofos!


Today's pick is not only grand in scale, but also in sheer awesomeness. Something I SO wish I had but never seem to get my grubby little paws on. A Firebird-driving, cutoff-denim-jacket-wearing, mullet-rocking, lifting-weights-in-the-garage-listening-to-Motorhead-on-cassette-tape-on-a-ghetto-blaster, Big Gulp-of-Mountain-Dew-chugging, poolboy named Zeke? Well, no, not exactly. (Though I really wish I did.)



I mean, this:




But the BEST, most filthy and suggestive thing about it? It reclines!



Awwww, yeeeah.


Vintage 50's Aqua Patio Aluminum Glider is currently available on Etsy from seller The Vintage Supply Co. They do not, however, have a poolboy named Zeke. Pity.

Way-Out Wednesday: Ill Communication

Welcome to Way-Out Wednesday!



You know, after taking a mini break from blogging recently, I thought I'd make a triumphant return with swift vengeance, ready to take on the blogging world with a great many new themes and ideas of which to simultaneously blow your minds and thusly knock your socks off... buuuuut... it's obvious I suck at time management. Hell, I couldn't even find the time to come on here to let you guys know I didn't have any time. (How do you daily bloggers DO it? Also, I said "do it".) I have no big circus acts of freak show awesomeness for you guys, no major shows of dramatic creativity. I *did* have this swell idea to carry on last year's tradition of doing a weekly vintage Halloween theme, but I just couldn't pull it together this past month. Oh well. Maybe with December will come a month of freaky deaky themes, who knows. But you know what I do know? We do still have our 4 (ish) regular, weekly themes (side note: this friday will see the return of Aqua Blue Heaven Friday!) and we do still have Way-Out Wednesday and by gawd we're gonna rock Wednesdays like it's nobody's business! And today, kids, we're in the ketchup biz.




What I mean, of course, is this Vintage Heinz Ketchup Bottle Phone. (And anyone who calls it "ket-sup", ie: catsup, is gonna catch the business end of my stabbin' hand. It's pronounced "ketch-up" and always will be. The end.) The seller doesn't mention an era, but I'd wager a guess that it's from the decade of wacky novelty crap, the 1980's. (Recall the Sports Illustrated Football Phone?) The phone's sort of beat to hell, but it still looks bizarrely awesome (you know, for a novelty telephone) and it's only 6 bucks. ($6.00!) The phone's available on Etsy from seller My Serious Side. (Have I mentioned its 6 dollar factor? 6 bucks!)

Way-Out Wednesday: Sweet Adeline O'Mine.

Welcome to Way-Out Wednesday!




I can't even get begin to think of witty repartee for today's pick...I just can't...no words... Seriously, there's not a word in the English (or Elvish or Klingon) language to describe the fuckuppery that's going with today's vintage pick. I mean, good gawd. It's terrifying. It may be having a stroke. And it's totally freaking awesome.

I give you...

the Vintage Sweet Adeline "Singing" Barbershop Head Ashtray:





Sweet....jebus... To be clear, it doesn't actually sing. Apparently the "stroke victim/borderline retarded face" is supposed to *look* like it's singing. But here's where the awesome happens: That creepy-ass, gaping, stroke victim mouth is an ashtray. OHMYGODILOVEITSOMUCHITHINKI'MHAVINGASTROKEMYSELF--WAIT A SEC,IJUSTSAID"STROKEMYSELF"AHAHAHAHA.

But wait! There's more freakish goodness -- If you rest your cigarette on his lip, smoke will rise up and come OUT OF HIS EARS. It almost makes me wish I still smoked! But really, it doesn't matter if you smoke or not, because something this grotesquely fantastic would look just as nightmare-inducing sitting the shelf even without smoke wafting from his ear holes.




Vintage "Sweet Adeline Ashtray" is currently available on Etsy from seller Soul Man Vintage for a super decent price. But guess what? She just happens to have an alternative to the Stroke Victim Ashtray for sale, if that one doesn't do it for you. But don't worry. It's just as sexy. Behold: